have you ever struggled with that feeling in which you can’t seem to be enough? the feeling that makes you think you are lacking in worth rather than made of it. i personally do not know all of your stories, but I know that we are all human. insecurities are alive and moving throughout our society as we are given a picture perfect view of what beauty is every single day. the thief that is comparison is running rampant throughout our souls day in and day out, trying to make us believe that we are not enough simply because we do not have what another person has. trust me, you are not the only person who spends hours scrolling through her Instagram explore page wishing you were that girl with the perfect hair, perfect boyfriend, or whatever we begin to envy so strongly. we are human, and that is okay to embrace, but I want you to know that you all are MORE THAN ENOUGH. the feeling that robs you of your joy and authenticity does not have power over you in the Kingdom of Heaven. therefore, if we want to make this earth as much like it is in Heaven, we must strive to wake up everyday and put on our wardrobe that clothes us in confidence from the Lord, nothing else.
TRUE freedom is found in being yourself, no matter what others think. i have found that many people, myself included, scratch the surface when it comes to embracing freedom within the relationships we build with others. no matter if the relationship is a platonic relationship or a romantic one, we should never allow ourselves to be treated as less than, when the center of our community should be a God who believes we are more than enough. i am a people pleaser, and if you are reading this and know me pretty well you most likely nodded in agreement or even gave that an eye roll. this people pleasing aspect of my human nature has led me to run full force into relationships that did not fulfill me in the Godly way in which they should. community is meant to be beautiful, and beauty is stripped right from community the moment it is disrespected.
HEBREWS 10:24-25— And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
i wanted to write this post to give you all a form of encouragement and a few things i have learned through the good and bad relationships i previously had found myself in. however, no matter the type of people we find ourselves in community with, i think it is important to remember that we should not let ourselves run from loving people that are not like us. we must love everyone and love everyone well, even if they do not love you back. the COMMUNITY in which we take part in; however, is meant to build us up and point us closer to that finish line of our race to love everyone as Jesus loved us.
without further or do, ladies: this ones for you!!! this ones for you, my friend. no matter if you’re the girl who does not look for a boy to validate her or even look for one to love her or if you’re the girl who is earnestly searching for the boy to love her like Jesus does, this one is for you. no matter where you are in your walk and romantic life, this one is for you. take heart. ( & trust me, i’m still learning too )
- make sure they take you as you are!! taking it back to freedom-if the boy who is pursuing you or “talking to you” (for those in the current generation who can relate:’) , does not even want to partake in community with you when you’re most like yourself, it is not worth it. you were not made to be someone other than YOURSELF. God created you to take part in such a beautiful form of freedom. embrace that and do not let someone dictate if you are worthy enough based on your form of living life fully. for example, my form of living life to the fullest is being a complete goofball. i love to have my serious moments and heart talks are the way to my heart, literally;however, if the guy i saw myself with does not like my goofy self, it simply is not worth it. ladies, pray for a guy who takes you as you are.
- consider the root of the relationship– did they look at your heart first or something else? attraction is SO important in a relationship and chemistry between man and woman is a gift from God!! yes girl, your guy should see you as absolutely gorgeous, and you can think he’s crazy cute!! its normal & its okay! however, i have been in a relationship where a boy simply looked toward my outward appearance, and it left me everything but secure. it left me tired as i worked everyday to fulfill that purpose. it left me to question my own value at the end. i pray for you girls that you find a boy who looks at your heart and sees the beauty in it and sees Jesus in it. i pray you find a boy who falls so in love with your heart that the rest of the love is impossible to ignore.
- is it a two way street? one way relationships are the worst. i will say it again, THE WORST. i won’t even both sugar coating it. God does not have a one sided relationship with us; therefore, our relationships are not meant to be single lanes never merging together. i had many relationships throughout high school where I would constantly work as hard as i could to make sure the other half of the relationship was cared for, not even looking back to realize that my heart was not being catered to. i would simply brush this aside and think of it as a way I expressed my love and Grace, and that the other people simply loved differently. i have now learned that there is not a fine line between loving well and not loving at all. they are complete opposites. instead, i pray you find yourself in a relationship where the special someone cares for you just as you care for him. everyones love language is different, but that does give someone a free ticket out of loving you with equal intent as you love them.
( side note: boys, this can be for you too! just speaking from ~personal experience~)
in LIGHT of FRIENDSHIPS!!!! oh, these are so so important. this is the community that shapes you and holds you together. this is the community where you run when you’re at your worst or your best. you want to be cautious and confident that the friends you surround yourself with remind you of Jesus. here are a few things to be sure of when surrounding yourself with your community:
- do they take you as you are? (PART TWO, i know) i think the beauty of friendships is created in the individual nature of each person within a community. God intended for us to surround ourselves with people who may not be exactly like us. for instance, i find some of my greatest friendships in the people who are complete opposites of me. some of my greatest friends are also cookie cutter to me, and they are equally as special and important. all in all, it is important for your friends to take you as you are. they should never make you feel uncomfortable for the way you choose to live your life, your morals and values, the way you dress, the things you eat, etc. if your life is not reflecting the beauty of our Lord, it is completely okay to hold one another accountable within your community, but extreme judgement should not be found in our friendships. you should never feel pressured to fit a mold of a “friend group.” find your friends, take them as they are, love them well, and grow together.
- accountability. oh, this one is SO important. as you walk through life with your friends, you will find yourself living your greatest of times and lowest of times with them. you can be your most joyful self one day and struggling with your greatest sin the next. pray for friends who will walk through both of those times with you, and pray for friends who will help you walk away from that sin and into the light they know you have. find friends who are not afraid to challenge you. i do not know where i would be without my friends who challenge me to dive into the Word everyday and be the best version of myself every day. and lets be honest, where would we be without that one friend who texts your crush for you back in the eighth grade or even last week, making you go wayyy our of your comfort zone?!
- trusting your community. having trust in someone is something i have battled with after struggling from countless bad friendships and relationships. once your trust has been tested, it can be hard to build up again. let me be the first to tell you that if you feel that way, it is completely okay and i am right there with you. i have learned that my greatest friends that i surround myself with are the ones i can trust. the people who have not tested my trust are the ones worth giving it to. i pray you look for people who can fill your heart with truth and also guard your heart with loyalty. i pray you find people who you can confide in and feel comfortable enough to open your heart up to them. God has those people for you and He intends for you to go through life with them. He does not want you to battle this life alone.
all in all, we were made for community. we were made for relationships. God built our hearts in such a way where we are not made to go about our lives alone. God intended for us to love well and to be loved in return. no matter if you have been hurt in the past, don’t run from the good type of love that comes in all forms. throughout high school, i constantly questioned my worth due to the way my friends and guys would treat me. i began to build a wall so high that i am just now realizing it is there and how it must come down in order for me to live the fullest life that God intended for me to. i pray you all do not run from the goodness God has already given you in the people He has made for you. i pray we all strive to have a heart like Jesus. A heart like Jesus does not have boundaries. a heart like Jesus allows people to love them with all the love they have to give. a heart like Jesus loves without limits. i pray you all find the people who encourage you and build your heart to be strong, loved, and cared for.
you were made for this type of love. do not let the necessities that the world may slip under the rug allow you to not be treated how you were made to be treated. find your worth. live your worth. love yourself and allow others to love you the same.
keep fighting the good fight, friends!